Om Tat Sat

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The last two weeks have been hectic… I haven’t known my ass from my elbow and I’ve been an emotional freak! But now there is light again… I can breathe, my chest is light and my head is clear.
I don’t think I have stopped for a second since Pat died – maybe as a sub-conscious coping mechanism – but it has been two weeks, and life flipped turned upside down there for a moment.
  • I stopped taking the pill at the same time, so needless to say I have been CrAZy! 
  • I had a meltdown at work when asked “are you happy?” 
  • I cried everyday
  • Pat’s funeral came on the Thursday, we found out that Rowan Ferreira had also been killed in a car accident
  • I still remember Pat’s body lying in the casket… a skinny frame, without life wearing Pat’s favourite clothes… 
  • We cried, we drank, we celebrated his life, we reminisced…
  • And then it was back to reality where we were awoken with a smash and grab attempt on Friday night
  • I woke groggily to Saturday morning to start planning the kid’s party that was happening a few hours later, nothing had been done yet and it was the last thing we wanted – but it wasn’t about us, it was about the kids
  • Entertained for hours, ran around like a lunatic and then crashed for a few hours before waking up and having to sort out my window after the stupid brick-wielding asshole had it
  • Crashed again before having to wake up at 4am to fly to Durban for work
  • Sat in workshops under freezing cold aircon for an entire day while Durban danced a beautiful dance of light and warmth outside
  • Went to my hotel room, bathed, changed and went to a business dinner
  • Crashed, woke up at dawn and had to fly back to Jozi and go straight to work
So now I am sick. In bed. It all caught up with me. But on the bright side and I am now able to rest while my body soothes itself back into a state of health. It is all over at last…. everything was just a repercussion of everything that we felt for Pat and his passing. We will still cry and slip into that immense space that he used to fill, but for now, the worst is over and life can return to normal.
The clarity is amazing… like seeing life for the first time through a pair of spectacles that you never thought you needed. Everything is as it should be. Om Tat Sat.
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2 responses to “Om Tat Sat”

  1. Sam Jam Boom! says:

    Wow..poor woman. Glad you going off the pill though.weirdly going through the same horrific ordeal and wrote about it on my blog. Soak up some SA sunshine and keep a smile on your dial.;)

  2. Katherine Stott says:

    The pill is MADNESS! I can't believe the effects coming off it…. makes me realise how much it affects us!
    Thanks dude….. everything will be fine :)

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